For me, I think of my mother, my partner, my daughter, and more recently a few people that I am proud to call 'true friends'.
My partner and I fell in love quickly, and I've never regretted my decision to be with him. We've had tumultuous periods in our life thus far, but in those times, he stands by me and drags me back up in his own, very quiet, very determined way. In many ways, he complements me. Many of my strengths are his weaknesses, and vice versa. We have a very similar set of morals and values that forms the basis of our parenting. We work better as a team than as individuals, but we are quite capable of functioning on our own. I think this is a big part of what makes us a strong couple, because we choose to be together and work through the same crap many other couples run away from.
My mother is the person I draw my strength from. If I go more than a couple of days without talking to her, I feel highly anxious. She is my most effective sounding board, and the person who knows me the best. She understands, or at least does her utmost to understand the way my brain works, and the labyrinthian twists and turns my mind takes to reach a conclusive point. She is one of only two people I have ever met who can not only follow my speedy train of thought without hesitation, but can interject and respond to the ghastly myriad of information I have condensed into a hastily word-vomited five minute rant. She doesn't always agree with me, but she realises that she doesn't have to agree with me to understand me and support the decisions I make. If it turns out that she is right, she is there to help me pick up the pieces of my mistakes.
I've mentioned in a previous post that making friends always proved arduous for me. As a result, i've never held down true friendships for very long. I also don't seem to have trouble ending friendships, and there are very few people I actually miss when I don't see them. Recently though, I have made some true friends who have certainly laid claim to portions of my heart. There is a select group of people I have told about my feelings and suspicions of Asperger's syndrome. Three people, other than my partner and my immediate family. Those three people could not have been more supportive. I was actually amazed at how readily they accepted what I had said to them, and how quickly they offered their support and love. I was not expecting to be shunned and treated like the Quasimodo, but I wasn't expecting to be met with such positivity and encouragement. I think the biggest surprise for me was hearing how much they really meant what they were saying. I've had friends in the past who have made airy promises about being there for each other. In this instance though, I knew that these people were the type of people who meant what they said, and said what they meant. If they couldn't find anything positive to say, or didn't honestly feel what they were saying, they wouldn't have said anything at all. I am very thankful to have found these people, and that they all identify me as one of their closest friends.
My daughter, at two and a half, has developed such a quirky and outgoing personality. In many ways she is a version of myself that I think I could be, without the pressures of the world telling me who I should be, (or maybe that should read "a version of myself I wish I could be, without the pressures that come from within myself on who I think the world thinks I should be"). Either way, I think she is an incredibly wonderful person; friendly, personable, intelligent and funny, quick to laugh, caring and kind, brave and carefree. She is completely comfortable within her own skin, and my biggest (and most challenging) mission in life is to keep her sheltered from the expectations of the world, to keep that spark burning as brightly as I possibly can before the world starts trying to dull it, or worse: extinguish it completely. I do not want my daughter to become a carbon copy of me, nor do I want her to measure herself against others, either physically or in any other way. I want her to recognise the wonder of the possibilities that lay before her, and realise just how capable she is of being the absolute best version of herself. My daughter is most certainly a person who has a snatched a great big whopping chunk of my heart. I hope she never tries to give it back...
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